Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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