Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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