i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
