I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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