1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
