Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
