I showed him my bush... on skype.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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