Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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