I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
