Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
