i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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