You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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