Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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