i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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