I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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