I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
