Your mouth is God's brothel.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
