I am spending my child support on dildos
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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