you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
