she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
