Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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