I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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