My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
