hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
