thus making me awesome and them whores
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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