never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
