i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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