Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
