her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
one might say we're banned from that church
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
