how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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