I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Dear god my vagina.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
