Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Damn victory sex feels great
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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