If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
