Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
