shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
