my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
