Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I have post one night stand depression
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