he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
