i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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