Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
