If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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