Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
