Jerry, you need to find god
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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