Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
