do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
