we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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