Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Randomize
