I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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