So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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