Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
