I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
